Britain English vs Malaysia English

November9

Who says our English is teruk.? Just see below – Ours is

simple,short,concise,
straight-to-point, effective etc………

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No Stock.

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians: No-need lah！You pay next time lah!

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don’t recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind.

Malaysians: Don’t want la…

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand
where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I’m trying to
concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that one….

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn’t the way to do it here let me show you,

Malaysians: like that also don’t know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Don’t ka-ka-cau-cau la you!

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PHP

August11

something random but make sense for me

Q: Why PHP is so popular?

A: You see $ everywhere in PHP.

Do you agree ?

posted under Joke, Random, Technology | 2 Comments »

This is why we studied IT in english

June5

为什么IT的词语必须用英文

为什么马来西亚政府要使用英文在数学和科学教学上？这是因为全世界的人在科技方面都使用英文。如果我们在学校使用马来文是多么的可怕，比如：

Hardware = barang keras
Software = barang lembut
Joystick = batang gembira
Plug and Play = cucuk dan main
Port = lubang
Server = pelayan
Client = pelanggan

尝试翻译以下的句子：
英文：
That server gives a plug and play service to the client using eitherhardware or software joystick. The joystick goes into the port of theclient.

Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main denganmenggunakan batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut. Batang gembira ituakan dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan.

lol so now u know lo

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恐怖片與Ａ片的相似之處
1.女主角常常會大叫或呻吟。
2.常常有人被液體噴得滿身。
3.都有東西會慢慢的站起來。
4.常會有東西在跳動或蠕動。
5.常常以醫院或學校為背景。
6.看到一半，都會很想快轉。
7.看完之後，覺得心跳加快。
8.這兩種片都比新聞要好看。
9.片中很少關心誰是男主角。
10.大部分都是在看表情特寫。
11.沒有劇情也可以播的下去。
12.一開始直接出現重點也可以。
13.這種片子不要太多人看才會刺激。
14.尤其晚上看才特別有效果。

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Accident or Destined??

May5

Secretary accidentally bites off boss’ penis

A SECRETARY accidentally bit off the penis of her employer while giving him oral sex in a car.

Sin Chew Daily and China Press reported yesterday that while the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on the man, the car was hit by a reversing van.

The impact of the crash, China Press reported, caused the woman to bite off her lover’s organ.

The daily reported that the incident occurred in a Singapore park where the couple met after work.

To make matters worse for the woman, her husband had sent a private investigator to spy on her after suspecting that she was being unfaithful.

The investigator said he had followed the woman and her boss to the park.

“On reaching the park, they did not alight from the car. Not long after, the car started to shake violently.

After the car was hit by the van, there was a loud scream from the woman whose mouth was covered with blood,” he said.

The woman later followed her lover to the hospital with part of the sexual organ.

The investigator, who called an ambulance to send the man to hospital, said that this was the first time he had encountered such an incident.

Ex-stewardess publishes memoir

The dailies also reported that a former stewardess has published a memoir of her sexual escapades in the sky.

The Singaporean stewardess, identified as Chew, 35, published The Mile Hi! Club: Memoirs of a Stewardess last Wednesday.

Chew confided that she had received more than 20 requests for sex from passengers in her years as a stewardess but claimed she had turned down all of them.

Other News & Views is compiled from the vernacular newspapers (Bahasa Malaysia, Chinese and Tamil dailies). As such, stories are grouped according to the respective language/medium. Where a paragraph begins with a sub-heading, it denotes a separate news item.